“Maybe all He wants is for us to express ourselves.” Love that. Appreciate this piece. A lot is stirring in me after reading this, wish I could come over for a cup of that Joe! 🩶
"Maybe all He wants is for us to express ourselves." You nailed it, IMHO. I hope both you and your daughter are healing and feeling lighter. I hope she's open enough for you to read her mind, at least once in a while. May peace be with you. Sending love.
Natalie, thank you so much for your kind words. With a teenager, it’s definitely a give and take. Two steps forward, one step back. But someone on here reminded me that is part of the dance and I’m learning to accept that.
I resonated with this so well like I also don't sit down to pray or visit that much religious places but I keep thinking if the universe does this or guide me. Maybe I just pray in my own way through thoughts and trust. Loved the writing!!
Perhaps, in our search for questions of existence, we create our own "gods" in our own image, and rather than "pray" we "talk" to ourselves in times of confusion. These may be our "prayers," not specifically to a deity, but to the cosmos. After, my wife died of tragic, destructive cancer, I never cursed "my god," nor asked why me? My wife answered any questions I had by saying, "It's not dying that makes me sad. I've had a wonderful life with you. I'm 75 years old and my time is over. I choose not to be "locked up" in a hospital. I will die in my bed lying next to you." And that's exactly what she did, peacefully and without fear. We did pray together, not perhaps to any specific "god" but we both believe that we have a purpose, and were not cosmic accidents. Here is a poem I just wrote that might explain how I feel having read the clarity and truth of your words: The title is, Why Are We Here.,
Penny, this carries a rare kind of honesty because it wrestles with prayer as relationship, not performance. What stood out most is how you move from inherited forms and frustration into something much more human: the possibility that prayer may be less about checking boxes and more about expression, vulnerability, and remaining relationally present with God in grief and uncertainty. The parallel between God, your husband, and your daughter adds real emotional depth, because it turns prayer into a reflection on being known, speaking love, and naming what still needs voice. Grateful for the candor, spiritual tension, and tenderness in how you wrote this.
It means a lot that you pulled the strings of what moved through me as I reflected and wrote the piece. There is nothing more valuable than relationship and yet there are so many barriers to authentic relationships. And yet, God continues to pursue relationship with us, more than ritual, achievement, or accolades.
Great share, deeply introspective and so relatable still, even though it's such a personal experience. Thank you for allowing us to take a peek inside your mind and heart today. I needed that!
Haven’t we all wished to have the power of mind-reading? Although that power should also come with the ability to switch it off.
As for God’s perspective I do believe He knows what is on our mind and in our hearts before we are even fully aware, much less speak it to Him or anyone else.
I honestly loved your perspective on this, especially because I am not a religious person myself, yet the way you described prayer at the end resonated with me very deeply.
For me prayer makes the most sense exactly in the way you described it - not as performance, ritual, or repeating the “correct” words, but as the act of expressing your inner world. Not because God necessarily needs the information but because vulnerability itself creates connection.
I think that idea is profoundly human, even beyond religion. The realization that love, pain, fear, and care often need to be expressed outwardly in order to truly reach another person felt incredibly honest to me.. Thank you for sharing yourself! <3
This really moved me because it captured something so many people quietly wrestle with, the tension between faith as performance and faith as honest relationship.
I loved the realization that maybe prayer isn’t about perfectly structured words, “checking boxes,” or convincing God of our needs, but about expression, vulnerability, and connection. That line about God not needing mind-reading but perhaps wanting us to express ourselves anyway felt incredibly human and deeply relatable.
There was also something powerful about the way grief, parenting, love, and spirituality all intertwined here. The comparison between communication in relationships and communication with God was beautifully done. Sometimes the people who love us most still need us to speak our inner world out loud.
Your writing feels raw in the best way — thoughtful, self-aware, questioning, imperfect, honest. And that honesty is what makes it resonate so deeply.
I found your honest reflection about prayer dovetailed a little with what I call my traumatic loss. I have found prayer to be helpful in both tough and good times, not as an answer but more as a guide. It could not save my husband, nor could it lessen his pain or find healing. It could not help me after his loss.
It was not until several months after I attended a church-sponsored seminar on forms of prayer that I realized it was the approach that was my flaw. When I was introduced to breath prayer, it all made sense to me, more as a quick meditation than as a list. In the first year after his loss, I would take a long breath in and push it out slowly while saying the same phrase. By asking God to help me find my way and purpose again, I was focusing on what I needed to answer for myself. It helped and has continued to guide me five years later.
This is beautiful. I’ve been thinking a lot about my own hesitations around praying so I found your reflection helpful. Also, I want more people in my life who test out new frameworks for truth-telling.
Very touched & moved by this. God wants us to approach Him boldly(Hebrews 4:16) in prayer. Yet God knows what we will say in those prayers. And still, yet still he longs for us to come to Him, crying “Abba, Father.”
“Maybe all He wants is for us to express ourselves.” Love that. Appreciate this piece. A lot is stirring in me after reading this, wish I could come over for a cup of that Joe! 🩶
"Maybe all He wants is for us to express ourselves." You nailed it, IMHO. I hope both you and your daughter are healing and feeling lighter. I hope she's open enough for you to read her mind, at least once in a while. May peace be with you. Sending love.
Natalie, thank you so much for your kind words. With a teenager, it’s definitely a give and take. Two steps forward, one step back. But someone on here reminded me that is part of the dance and I’m learning to accept that.
I resonated with this so well like I also don't sit down to pray or visit that much religious places but I keep thinking if the universe does this or guide me. Maybe I just pray in my own way through thoughts and trust. Loved the writing!!
Thank you Sam 💗💗
I love this, and I struggle with this too. Thank you so much for sharing!
Perhaps, in our search for questions of existence, we create our own "gods" in our own image, and rather than "pray" we "talk" to ourselves in times of confusion. These may be our "prayers," not specifically to a deity, but to the cosmos. After, my wife died of tragic, destructive cancer, I never cursed "my god," nor asked why me? My wife answered any questions I had by saying, "It's not dying that makes me sad. I've had a wonderful life with you. I'm 75 years old and my time is over. I choose not to be "locked up" in a hospital. I will die in my bed lying next to you." And that's exactly what she did, peacefully and without fear. We did pray together, not perhaps to any specific "god" but we both believe that we have a purpose, and were not cosmic accidents. Here is a poem I just wrote that might explain how I feel having read the clarity and truth of your words: The title is, Why Are We Here.,
"Earth is a madhouse,
cruel, absurd, but beautiful.
It’s filled with imperfect,
and flawed people.
Yet the choice to civilize it anyway
carries a special kind of dignity."
Penny, this carries a rare kind of honesty because it wrestles with prayer as relationship, not performance. What stood out most is how you move from inherited forms and frustration into something much more human: the possibility that prayer may be less about checking boxes and more about expression, vulnerability, and remaining relationally present with God in grief and uncertainty. The parallel between God, your husband, and your daughter adds real emotional depth, because it turns prayer into a reflection on being known, speaking love, and naming what still needs voice. Grateful for the candor, spiritual tension, and tenderness in how you wrote this.
Thank you Rev. Taylor,
It means a lot that you pulled the strings of what moved through me as I reflected and wrote the piece. There is nothing more valuable than relationship and yet there are so many barriers to authentic relationships. And yet, God continues to pursue relationship with us, more than ritual, achievement, or accolades.
Great share, deeply introspective and so relatable still, even though it's such a personal experience. Thank you for allowing us to take a peek inside your mind and heart today. I needed that!
Thank you for your kind words, Zen Andrew. Thanks for joining me for a little while on this road.
Haven’t we all wished to have the power of mind-reading? Although that power should also come with the ability to switch it off.
As for God’s perspective I do believe He knows what is on our mind and in our hearts before we are even fully aware, much less speak it to Him or anyone else.
I honestly loved your perspective on this, especially because I am not a religious person myself, yet the way you described prayer at the end resonated with me very deeply.
For me prayer makes the most sense exactly in the way you described it - not as performance, ritual, or repeating the “correct” words, but as the act of expressing your inner world. Not because God necessarily needs the information but because vulnerability itself creates connection.
I think that idea is profoundly human, even beyond religion. The realization that love, pain, fear, and care often need to be expressed outwardly in order to truly reach another person felt incredibly honest to me.. Thank you for sharing yourself! <3
This really moved me because it captured something so many people quietly wrestle with, the tension between faith as performance and faith as honest relationship.
I loved the realization that maybe prayer isn’t about perfectly structured words, “checking boxes,” or convincing God of our needs, but about expression, vulnerability, and connection. That line about God not needing mind-reading but perhaps wanting us to express ourselves anyway felt incredibly human and deeply relatable.
There was also something powerful about the way grief, parenting, love, and spirituality all intertwined here. The comparison between communication in relationships and communication with God was beautifully done. Sometimes the people who love us most still need us to speak our inner world out loud.
Your writing feels raw in the best way — thoughtful, self-aware, questioning, imperfect, honest. And that honesty is what makes it resonate so deeply.
I found your honest reflection about prayer dovetailed a little with what I call my traumatic loss. I have found prayer to be helpful in both tough and good times, not as an answer but more as a guide. It could not save my husband, nor could it lessen his pain or find healing. It could not help me after his loss.
It was not until several months after I attended a church-sponsored seminar on forms of prayer that I realized it was the approach that was my flaw. When I was introduced to breath prayer, it all made sense to me, more as a quick meditation than as a list. In the first year after his loss, I would take a long breath in and push it out slowly while saying the same phrase. By asking God to help me find my way and purpose again, I was focusing on what I needed to answer for myself. It helped and has continued to guide me five years later.
This is beautiful. I’ve been thinking a lot about my own hesitations around praying so I found your reflection helpful. Also, I want more people in my life who test out new frameworks for truth-telling.
Very touched & moved by this. God wants us to approach Him boldly(Hebrews 4:16) in prayer. Yet God knows what we will say in those prayers. And still, yet still he longs for us to come to Him, crying “Abba, Father.”